My Blog

A Higher Calling

In the operating room of a large metropolitan hospital, a young nurse was completing his first day on the job. “You’ve only removed eleven sponges, Doctor,” he said to the surgeon closing an incision after surgery. “We used twelve.”
“I removed them all,” the doctor declared, “We’ll close the incision now.”
“No,” the nurse objected. “We used twelve sponges.”
“I’ll take the responsibility,” the doctor said grimly. “Now suture!”
“You can’t do that!” the nurse blurted out. “Think of the patient.”
Just then the doctor smiled, lifted his foot, and showed the nurse the twelfth sponge. “You’ll do,” he said. He had been testing his integrity – and he had it. This story illustrates a key component of integrity: having the courage of your convictions – sticking to your guns, doing what you believe is right, and not fearing to speak out. Such actions are sorely needed. We need to witness a reemergence of integrity as one of the predominant values in the collective human character.
Those who do have integrity and consistently try to exercise it have discovered something the rest of the world ought to know: Integrity makes life easier, as well as more joyful and powerful.

Living with other people’s expectation is the worst feeling and experience of them all. I’ve just started working two weeks ago and my family’s expecting me to work as an OFW in the Middle East. It’s not that I’m afraid of going there. I was never afraid of going to other places with my own self. I’ve tried it before and now I’m not gonna be lost. I have faith.

I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to be able to work in a hospital. Now, I’m actually working there but unpaid. For me, It’s not about being paid or unpaid, it’s about the pack of experience that I’d been through. It’s a preparation, testing one’s self-awareness and to have clear thoughts of what is going to be working in a hospital with license already. In simple terms, BEING PROFESSIONALLY RESPONSBILE. My rantings here will just be put to futility coz as expected they will never learn. A term we called “SOPHOPHOBIA”, and i’m referring to my family.

Please give me time to finish these 3 months as a nurse volunteer. This will just be a minute impluse that travels in your brain because you have this unrealistic expectations. You would rather spend time watching and waiting for those nonesense, boring, flat shows on TV than waiting for my 3 months of experience. You don’t deal with reality when, fact-of-the-matter, you’ve wasted half of your life. You’re richly living like a MOB, APATHETIC, and SHEER IGNORANCE that reveals when you guys started to talk. bwahahahhaha

A message from a friend of mine really got me thinking . . .

Some truths are hard to accept. .

But it opens our hearts to the magic of life. . .

and that is the strength from tears,

and faith from nothingness.

hmmm this is as far as i could remember:

1. Heparin - Protamine Sulfate (in Heaven there is Peace)

2. Warfarin - Vitamin K (In War there is Killing)

3. Narcotic Analgesics: Morphine and Demerol - Naloxone Hydrochloride (Narcan)

4. Atropine Sulfate - Pilocarpine

5. Streptokinase - Aminocaproic Acid ( Amicar)

6. Calcium Channel Blocker Verapamil - Calcium

7. Paracetamol (Acetaminophen) - NAC (N-Acetylcysteine)

8. Digoxin - Digitoxin Immune Fab (Digibind)

9. Tricyclic Antidepressants - Sodium Bicarbonate

10.  Magnesium Sulfate - Calcium Gluconate (Just remember MCdo)

11. Isoniazid - Pyridoxine

12. Cyanide Poisoning - Sodium Nitrate

13. Extrapyramidal Reactions - Diphenhydramine Hydrochloride and Benztropine Mesylate

14. Iron - Deferoxamine

15. Carbon Monoxide Poisoning - Oxygen

They who drink beer will think beer. I’m not as think as you drunk I am. An alcoholic is anyone you don’t like who drinks more than you do. I am a drinker with writing problems. Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having. Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. I drink therefore I am. Alcohol is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol. I can’t die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver. Irish Coffee is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four adult food groups: fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol. I’m not as think as you drunk I am. Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them.

Instruction does much, but encouragement does everything.

              It’s been like eons since I’ve last updated my blog. I need to vent my emotions down here. I can’t bear the weight anymore. It’s affecting my everyday choices.

But it’s manageable, I am just ranting. Thanks for the shrink. Thanks, but no thanks!

I believe if I am able to share this, I might have a peace of mind. I used to resort to sublimation, but it’s too much. I am overwrought with too much defense mechanism. Tension is building up. Sooner, I am one human volcano ready to spew unwanted lava. Whatever lava.

There’s a point in my life when I was free from confusion and life’s uphill battles. So many misdirections and distractions were posed as STALLED. A point where there is spiritual guidance, right a wrong, and just feel good.  But now I tell you, I am confused. Yes I am. I tried new things which can somehow help my future, but I wanted to be independent and part of which is to look for a job. I’m already having my Nursing Reviews for December’s Nursing Licensure Examination. I have unexpectedly high scores. I am not the brightest, but I passed most of the exams. How can I not appreciate the good news? How can I be so insensitive? How can I easily forget the efforts I’ve done, for me to pass those exams. Damn me. I wanted to have a job and focus on the review. Oh well! A day won’t end without sleep. Problems always come with a solution. Hold still and don’t give up.

(I used to be indecisive, but I’m not sure anymore. Anything but. Hahahha) Wala lang Happy Weekend Guys!

Sublimation as per definition is the transformation of unwanted impulses into something less harmful. This can simply be a distracting release or may be a constructive and valuable piece of work.

When we are faced with the dissonance of uncomfortable thoughts, we create psychic energy. This has to go somewhere. Sublimation channels this energy away from destructive acts and into something that is socially acceptable and/or creatively effective.

Many sports and games are sublimations of aggressive urges, as we sublimate the desire to fight into the ritualistic activities of formal competition. Just remember that getting angry can be so luxurious, you’ll not in control. So guys sublime!

Movies, movies, and movies. Spent my whole summer watching lots of movies. It’s like my day would not move if i hadn’t watched one. Damn, homebuddy now eh? hehehe I’d fly high if i’d have to but i just can’t. Truth is, I am so bored. Bored.

  I’ve watched lots of series which I’m always in front of the television. Sometimes, i skipped a meal only to finish. Though, its not so beneficial, but it’s super ok. What I’ve watched lately was Grey Anatomy. If you’re an Idol of Dr House , Nip/Tuck, Scrubs, ER, and Strong Medicine. You’ll sure not to miss this one. This is great! If only being paid just watching movies, then I’ll had to have that kind of job. hehehhe.

With lines so unforgettable, so touching, so heart-rending, It melts u, really.

Here are some of the quotable quotes:

• I can’t think of a single reason why I should be a surgeon, but I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit. They make it hard on purpose… there are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it’s more than just a game, and you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit but here’s the thing, I love the playing field.
• At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That’s how we’re made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines… that are way too dangerous to cross.
• You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.
• At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don’t really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.
• A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you’re wrong? What if you’re making a mistake you can’t undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can’t pretend we hadn’t been told. We’ve all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today’s possibility under tomorrow’s rug until we can’t anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.
• Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we’re wired that way. Because without it, I don’t know; maybe we just wouldn’t feel real. What’s that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.
• Intimacy is a four syllable word for, "Here’s my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy." It’s both desired, and feared. Difficult to live with, and impossible to live without. Intimacy also comes attached to the three R’s… relatives, romance, and roommates. There are some things you can’t escape. And other things you just don’t want to know.
• I wish there were a rulebook for intimacy. Some kind of guide to tell you when you’ve crossed the line. It would be nice if you could see it coming, and I don’t know how you fit it on a map. You take it where you can get it, and keep it as long as you can. And as for rules, maybe there are none. Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself.
• Okay, here it is, your choice… it’s simple, her or me, and I’m sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me.